In the last post I talked about how affirmations aren’t as effective when your unconscious mind has negative programs running.
OK, good to know, but, now what?
We often think that the more we talk about our problems the easier they will be solved. Find a therapist & talk, talk, talk, hopefully finding insight & consciously getting ourselves out of of the negative tar pit we have been in.
Insight can help. Stepping off the path you have been on & looking at a behavior or feeling from a different perspective can help change the way you think about a problem.
What about those times when we feel overwhelmed to behave in ways we say we don’t want… overeating, flying off the handle, smoking feeling anxious & overwhelmed etc…
How well does thinking and talking help then?
Not so much!
There is nothing wrong with feeling feelings. We have good feelings and not so good feelings. Sitting in that space of not so good feelings might bring you to some clarity about what you don’t want. Though, more often than not, we don’t really know what to do with those not so good feelings.
I like to ask myself… How long do I want to feel this way, if I want to continue feeling bad/sad, angry etc… what am I getting out of feeling this way?
Most people immediately answer… I’m not getting anything out of feeling (you can substitute anything for “feeling bad”, overeating, anger, fear...), but really stop & ponder, how is this serving me?
Another question to ask yourself, and the really important one is…
How do I know?
How do I know I’m angry, feel bad, sad, frustrated, stressed, want to eat, drink or smoke?
If you start to tell a story about what has happened to cause you to experience these things, you’re in the wrong place!
There will always be something that is going on that isn’t what you want.
You may have a mean boss, or opinionated relative, come across a bad driver. In other words stress is part of life.
There is a way you KNOW something is upsetting for you. And it is NOT the story around the feelings!
How do I know?
- Take a scan of your body, is there tension, tightness, does your heart rate increase, or breath shorten & become shallow?
- Do you flashback to memories when something similar happened?
- Do you just have a sense of “knowing”? You’re not sure, but you just Know?
- Are random thoughts playing over & over in your head? You can’t stop thinking about the problem?
- Can you hear words or the tone of voice someone used in the past… parents fighting, or someone saying something to or about you?
- Do you get a taste in your mouth?
- Smelling. Does smelling something reminds you of a bad experience or the desire to eat or smoke?
We aren’t used to really looking inwards and asking how we know we have a problem. Once you practice, it gets easier.
So now you have figured out how you know you have a problem. If you’re still telling the story of what causes the problem then you’re not there yet.
Keep chunking down to a feeling, picture, thought, knowing a smell, a taste or hearing.
Once you have figured out how you know you have a problem… read my next post on how to use this amazing technique!!
Link to post #1